Embracing Resistance
“Are you a writer who doesn’t write, a painter who doesn’t paint, an entrepreneur who never starts a venture? Then you know what resistance is.”
— Excerpt from the book “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield
There’s always shit we don’t want to do. Resistance.
We all face resistance - that invisible force that loves to grab the hand brake before we get rolling. Maybe it’s cold calling a prospect, signing up for your first yoga class, or doing your taxes.
Resistance.
Don’t get hurt. Don’t embarrass yourself. Don’t stand out; don’t fit in. Don’t make a mistake. The lights on your cerebral dashboard are blinking red and, almost instinctively, you take your foot off the gas.
Maybe that’s a good thing.
Why resistance could be good
Anything good in my life came on the other side of risk.
Becoming a competent whitewater kayaker led to competing nationally and running rivers around the world. Learning to guide led to co-ownership of two adventure businesses and successful exits from both. Raising money to fund two projects in Nepal led to unforgettable experiences with my family doing charitable work. And then there was the somewhat ludicrous goal of running the Boston Marathon at age 65.
Every time I faced some kind of resistance: self doubt, lack of money, or simply lack of experience. “Safety is an illusion.” muses entrepreneur Chase Jarvis in Never play it safe, “It does not exist in nature, so why then do we seek it?”
Anytime you feel resistance, pay attention. Either your spidey sense has picked up on something dangerous ahead, or it's a sign something very good is waiting around the corner.
Either way, it’s time to pay attention.
Pay attention
For many years I have contracted work to a local graphic designer. On the occasions we would meet it was always at his office and mostly about business. More recently I referred some work to him and had the thought it might be nice to grab a coffee and get to know each other a bit more.
And then resistance.
What if he’s busy? What if a non-work chat isn’t important to him? What if we do meet and it’s awkward?
This is the fodder of our overly-active pattern-recognizing brain that can spot danger 100 miles away in a thick fog with sunglasses on. Hormones start flowing, the amygala lights up, blood pumps to our fighting muscles and before we know it our conscious slow-thinking brain has been hijacked.
“Fear isn’t only a guide to keep us safe;” writes Donald Miller in his often-hillarious memoir 1,000,000 miles in 1000 years, “it’s also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.”
After writing “Coffee with Sam” for the third time on as many day timer pages, it dawned on me the resistance I was feeling wasn’t, in fact, the flashing warning lights of danger, but, instead, the feeling of something good waiting on the other side of procrastination.
I set up the coffee. It was great. And it turns out we have a lot in common (like we were both reading The Creative Act by Rick Rubin). I wish we’d done it sooner.
Like most things in life, we can win the game of resistance when we take more swings at bat.
Like lifting heavy stuff.
Lift heavy stuff
As I get older I’ve embraced the practice of lifting weights. Strangely, I’ve come to like it.
We all know that lifting heavy stuff puts stress on our muscles and bones making them stronger. If you want to avoid the nasty downward curve of “decline” that the majority of people endure, lift heavy stuff. It’s the kind of advice that fills self-help books and podcast episodes - helpful, but sort of obvious.
What most pro-health, anti-aging advice doesn’t often highlight is the real benefit of lifting heavy weights: the practice of feeling the resistance and doing it anyway.
As you approach every set you are painfully reminded of how much this hurt last time - muscles and tendons straining to complete whatever number of reps was the goal. Resistance loves this stuff.
You knew this would happen, but you keep moving—momentum arm wrestling with resistance. You ignore the inner whisper urging you to quit and, instead, reach for the bar to start your lift.
Strong muscles and bones make for good health; overcoming resistance makes for a good life.
A good life
The self-help industry is built on our attraction to shortcuts. Learn this time management trick and cut your work in half. Buy this software and write your book overnight. Take this personality test and find true love.
We love shortcuts. After all, why hike for an hour to the next town when the shortcut gets you there in 20 minutes?
Some shortcuts are great, like a timesaving hack in gmail, or a better way to plan your next team project. On a pleasure scale, we love shortcuts because they promise more time for high-pleasure activities. If I spend less time navigating my Inbox - I say to myself - I have more time to read the book I ordered last month or cook the perfect meal for my family. Even if we don’t complete the trade and the book never gets read or you order a take-out dinner the lure of shortcuts remains.
A good life is different - there’s no shortcut on creating a good life.
A good life is found on the other side of resistance—we have to fight for it. And instead of a destination, it's practice.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Liked this post? Here are some more about doing hard stuff:
Why you need to stop thinking and take action
3 daily rituals that will make you rich