Who Are You Becoming?
I’m pretty good at goal setting. Last year is a good example. I crossed off seven of my eight major goals including running Boston (I actually ran three marathons and medaled in two), a major cash investment, income target (exceeded), and starting a private foundation.
Goals are important. Duh.
It’s pretty hard to climb a mountain in your life if you don’t pick the right one first. Along the way there’s a combination of the work we need to do and special never-to-be-forgotten moments that catch-your-breath. I wrote about the difference between activities and events in this post.
How you show up
Simone has got too much to do. Always. A business owner, everyday starts with a list of calls to clients and contractors that pile up as interruptions and distractions chew up the minutes. “It’s ironic,” I said on a recent call, “we go to all the work to enjoy the freedom of having our own business and then the business owns us.”
Simone has goals, lots of them and, to be fair, she does a great job with the business ones. Those are the well-worn paths where she has confidence. Her Small Win was to protect creative time—time to reconnect with a colleague, explore a new business collaboration, or just close the doors early. For someone hardwired to take care of others first, her goal is to be the kind of person who puts herself first.
While tangible, hard, (read: SMART) goals might get us up the ladder, it’s how we show up that gets the ladder leaning against the right wall.
I’m still learning
At least my dog likes me.
As a wet-behind-the-ears business owner in my 20’s and 30’s my ambitions blinded me to anyone else's opinion. If their way of doing things didn’t measure up, then - in my eyes - neither did they. In one of my more embarrassing moments I had a wrestling match with an employee who (I thought) let me down. I think he won.
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man;” wrote Hemingway, “true nobility is being superior to your former self.” I should put that on a tattoo.
We all change
“What did I believe three months ago that I no longer believe today?” Josh Waitzkin, The Art of Learning
We all change with time. Life lessons, time, wisdom, tragedies, and the people we spend the most time with shape our thoughts and ambitions. I’m not sure I would recognize the young man I once was, full of confidence, and bravado, listening to nobody and thinking I had all the right answers.
What about you?
Are you the same person you were a year ago?
How about five years ago?
How about when you were 30? Or 20?
We all change. We get older, put on weight, get shaky knees and forget passwords. That’s nature. What is in our control is how we show up
Are you a best friend to you? Are you proud of your thoughts? Do you have ambitions and dreams? Are you generous with your skills and energy?
What would ‘better’ look like?
Back to goals
What if we add one more question to your goal setting: who do you want to become?Who do you want to become this year?“The only person you’re competing with is the person you were yesterday.” writes Shane Parrish in Clear Thinking, “Victory is being a little better today.”
I have my goals and, like always, they will stretch me and push me. Cool. But I also want to show up as the kind of person I like. The kind of person I want to be remembered as for my kids, my partner and my friends.
We can either follow someone else’s music and hope it leads somewhere nice or decide now to become the kind of person who marches to their own kazoo.
Who do you want to become?
Other posts about life, change and Kazoos:
What Events Light Up Your Life?
Embracing Resistance
Why You Need to Stop Thinking and Take Action