Are You Looking Forward?
In 30 short days I’ll be standing at the start line of the Boston Marathon and probably asking the same question I did last year and the one before:
“How the HELL did I get here?”
The morning of a race, like Boston, is all about shuffling. You shuffle in long lines of nervous, jumpy, half-dressed runners all looking for a port-a-potty. Then shuffle onto a bus, off the bus, back in line for another port-a-potty. There’s lots of excited chatter and everyone - I swear - looks fitter, better prepared and happier than me.
In my mind, anyone who makes it to the start of a marathon - any endurance race for that matter - is a hero. They put in the work, paid their dues, and qualified to get the coveted race bib (this year over 12,000 missed the cut off for Boston by less than 7 minutes.) And here’s the weird thing.
Despite having sloughed through months of long, lonely runs starting in frigid winter temperatures, overcoming minor injuries, and enough protein smoothies to fill a bathtub, it’s hard not to think you could have done more.
Life gives us lots to worry about.
The exercise we didn’t do, the wine we didn’t need to drink, the call we didn’t make, the age we’ll be (sigh) at our next birthday, or what some blowhard said on the evening news. Like a cow tirelessly chewing its cud, we endlessly ruminate about the past, driven not by biological necessity (like three fewer stomachs), but by the stubborn habits of the mind.
Chew, chew, chew.
It’s behind us, digested and done, but we can’t resist; and up comes the worry for one more go at it. Meanwhile, we’re distracted from life that is happening right now. Today.
From behind
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
It was a New York morning, she was on her way to work, waiting for the traffic to clear. Maybe she didn’t look both ways, or was distracted by the music coming from her earbuds, but as she stepped off the curb a bicycle courier coming from her left, tries to swerve to avoid a collision and bumps her shoulder. It wasn’t a knock-you-off-your-feet hit, but enough to give her a shock.
More annoyed than hurt, she turns to raise her fist and shout at the courier who is now quickly disappearing down the busy street. And in that moment, with her attention fully on what had already happened, a taxi coming from behind hits her and sends her flying back onto the sidewalk where it all started.
In his book The Art of Learning, former chess wunderkind, martial arts competitor, and author Josh Waitzkin recalls this scene (the girl was apparently unhurt) as a cautionary tale. When our attention is locked on the past we can’t be open or prepared for what is happening right now, right in front of us. It’s like trying to navigate to the grocery store only using your rear view mirror. You might eventually get there, but the results won’t be pretty.
Instead we need to look forward - setting our sight on a flag planted in the distance reminding us after every detour to self-correct and get back on course.
Our goal
When Donna and I created the No Small Thing Fund our ambition was to help youth look forward. We are not experts in youth development or Gen Z behavioural trends, but we know how life-changing time in the outdoors, having adventures, gaining confidence in our skills and being with friends was for us.
In the course of just a few months, one meeting led to another, a better understanding of our path, a commitment, a simple website and we had a charity. What had been a glimmering idea all too often lost in the day-to-day of living grew brighter by constantly looking forward. “It always seems impossible,” Nelson Mandela reminds us, “until it’s done.”
We are newbies in the world of charitable giving, and we have a lot to learn, but we had to start somewhere. We started by planting our flag. What’s next is to raise the funds to give youth in our community a chance to plant theirs.
In the final month of training for Boston our goal is to raise $3,000 for kids. Will you help?
Start line
“The only person you’re competing with is the person you were yesterday. Victory is being a little better today.”
Three years ago it felt like my goals were behind me. The ironman competitions, mountains, and wild rivers had morphed from great adventures to great stories - too many sentences started with “I used to.”
I have lots of life ahead of me and wanted a goal that would challenge me, test my resolve and be all about looking forward. It could have been writing a book, starting a business, or packing our bags and moving to Portugal. I chose endurance running.
And that’s why in a month I’ll be on the start line of the Boston Marathon.
Every day we get to choose our focus. Looking over our shoulder and wondering what happened, or looking ahead and asking ‘what next?’
If you are reading this, you have that choice. What is next for you?
Enjoyed this nudge? Here are 3 more posts all about goal setting and creating small wins:
Small Wins - Why Little Steps are the Path to Big Rewards
Keynotes and workshops by Hugh Culver
