In a research facility near Sydney, Australia, 2 dozen people sipped coffee and listened carefully to their instructions. They were about to commit to a new exercise routine. In fact, it was much bigger than that.
The plan was for each person to commit to going to the gym 3 times a week for the next 2 months. This wasn’t about gruelling spartan warrior exercises – just simple routines designed for the kind of person who thinks using the stairs is showing off.
In fact, they were all self-confessed coach potatoes.
But that’s not the interesting part. Sure, they did their exercises and their fitness improved – as it would for anyone, whether they walked more or went to the gym.
What was fascinating – even surprising – was after just 2 months every person had made other healthy changes. They smoked fewer cigarettes, drank less alcohol, ate less junk food, watched less TV and even had fewer arguments.
How is this possible?
It turns out that keeping promises is fuel for willpower – the more you keep the more willpower you can apply to other decisions, like smoking, drinking and watching TV. I wrote more about building willpower in this post.
Keeping promises is fuel for willpower. Click To TweetIn a second experiment 30 people were taught how to set monthly spending goals. This included recording what they spent on luxuries (restaurants, movies, etc) and keeping daily logs of spending.
I’ve done this exercise – it’s uncomfortably revealing. In fact, after two weeks of tallying up every chocolate bar and cup of espresso, I decided to quit drinking coffee (I describe what happened since in this post).
Just like with the exercise experiment, finances improved – people spent less on impulse items and even managed to save more. But, again, there was the bigger effect. Without exception, people smoked less, consumed less alcohol, less caffeine, had fewer arguments and ate less junk food.
As Dartmouth researcher Todd Heatherton puts it: “Once you’ve gotten into that willpower groove, your brain is practiced at helping you focus on a goal.”
Lesson for you
We all want something: more money, better relationships, great health, more sleep, (more hair) – it’s part of the human condition.
And we’ve been conditioned to tackle problems head on.
Want to lose weight? Off we go buying a gym pass, dieting, and walking during lunch.
Want better relationships? We commit to listening openly, praising more often and facing the Tigers in our life.
All good stuff, but if you haven’t built the willpower, adding more promises won’t help.
If you haven’t built the willpower, adding more promises won’t help. Click To TweetWhat you need to do is trick your brain to keep your new promise.
Trick your brain
I pick up garbage.
It started 17 years ago, I was training for my first Ironman competition, when someone suggested if I’m going to be on the road running as much as I needed to, I might as well pick up garbage.
What started with pop cans and random plastic bags turned into a habit I’ve kept ever since. Am I rocking the world by picking up a handful of garbage? No, but I am developing willpower.
In effect, I’ve tricked my brain. Here’s some habits I have added and kept:
- picking up garbage (1999)
- no coffee (1999) (I described how I quit coffee in this post)
- reading before bed (2000)
- exercising 1 hour per day (on average) (2001)
- recording my workouts (2004)
- writing for 2 hours, 6 mornings a week (2005)
- no alcohol (2007)
- taking cold showers (2013)
Now before you start thinking I’m some sort of purist in pursuit of a monastic life. I’m not.
I can happily celebrate the end of a week with a bowl of Breyer’s Heavenly Hash or quaff the occasional Bounty bar.
But I do love the feeling of keeping a promise—if nothing else goes right, today I kept a promise.
Where to start
You don’t need to start with what you want. Sounds strange, but stick with me here.
The knee-jerk reaction to getting what you want is to put more attention on the problem. Yes, that needs to happen.
But equally important is to build your willpower to succeed.
The question is: what is a small commitment (Stanford prof BJ Fogg calls them “Tiny Wins) you can make and keep?
It might be 3 sales calls before 10AM, no salt on your meal, or making your bed every morning. Each routine builds the muscle we call willpower. And stronger willpower is what lets us enjoy the big change we’re after.
I could write more about this, but I have to go pick up some more garbage.
Great inspiration!
Thanks Ghada!
Such a delightful message
Thanks Rosabelle – that was a fun one to put together. I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
Like it. Just been ‘coaching’ a friend through final stages of her PhD and she needs the willpower … and has shown it. Thanks for your ideas. I like the garbage picking up!
Marie – what a wonderful thing you are doing for your friend! Even if it’s not garbage (although it is a bit of fun to watch people’s reaction when you stoop down in the middle of the sidewalk) there are dozens of opportunities every day to start a new routine and see where it leads.
Thank you for this, it could not have come at a better time. Today is the beginning of a new chapter in my life and family. My husband is in hospice and we are facing not being able to bring him home again; this is creating great upheaval with our two children (16 and 11). Making more quality time with them and allowing some for me as well is incredibly important. Remaking our family budget and sticking to the new one includes meal planning and cutbacks, so willpower is definitely a necessity.
Again thank you for the inspiration and ideas to help get through.
Joelle Whittington
Joelle, my heart goes out to you. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through as a mother and wife. I don’t know what to say. My children are only a bit older and I know that they would want to support their parents, any way they could. And there’s only so much they can do – but they are a real source of strength. I will be thinking of you and praying that this transition time pulls you all together even more and brings you strength.
Joelle – I will send an extra prayer and some good vibes your way to help you keep that strength and willpower going! Hang in there – if you are a fan of Hugh’s like I am, then I am a fan of you!
Hugh – great article and SO TRUE! I have been wanting to lose a few pounds and finally committed to start swimming. I have been consistently going to swim for almost a month now and doing well, and I find myself eating less french fries, being more conscious about getting enough sleep (which is easier now since I am even more tired from the swimming!), and drinking more water. Will power and good habits lead to more good habits!
Dan that is so great! What a perfect example of how this bizarre relation between on habit and willpower works. I’ve added water before bed and as soon as I wake up to my routine and I’m noticing all sorts of nice benefits. Keep it going!
Joelle,
I saulute your inner strength at this most painful time in your life !!!
It is never easy to “hold space” for a group in need of your love , when life as you know and expect it to be is shattering about you. Tell your children only what they need to know….age appropriate. Allow them to experience the emotions that will come up for them, as that.is need to do their grief work. It is not something to try to distract them from… just be, and teach them to breath in their daddy’s love.
Spend as much time as you can with your husband …. it’s ok to get a friend to sit with the children, have take out, even hot dogs for heaven sake….to give you time & space. Never forgetting you will need your private time with your hubby..to share your love and your goodbye’s… untill you are together again. Climb up on the bed and cuddle together…. it is allowed and oh so healthy. It sounds as though you both will be look out for each other as together, you are taking this most painful,at times frightening journey. Just like a marriage , death is a time of sharing and confirming your love for each other !!
I am crying as I am writing, as I sense you are trying too hard to hold all the pieces together and I have learned that can be destructive to ones being. You said your husband was in hospice so please never forget…,the workers are there for YOU as well as your fellow !!! Let them “hold space” for you. They will not judge you, they know they can’t rescue you, just let them walk along side of you. Cry in their arms not only is it allowed, it is to be expected. You will know which worker to reach out to, just follow your instincts, just as I did when my dad died. I didn’t make it to hold my mom in the end but was comforted, knowing they were sitting and loving her. My younger brother died under very sad circumstances and I am still doing my grief work 20 years later. Grief does not have a season nor time out, in our lives my dearest
Joelle, it will ebb and flow…especially when the pull of love is great. Just BE and never forget to breathing in their love !!! Once more I salute the strength that is YOU !!!!
Awesome article Hugh!! Thank you—