This is the time of year I freak out.
And it’s not about last minute Christmas shopping.
Or rushing to finish up projects before the holidays.
What freaks me out is more of a slow-burning, can’t-escape-it feeling. Here it is:
I worry that next year will be more or less a repeat of this one. Sure, I have some trips planned, a book I want to write and new projects at work – but that happens every year.
What I don’t have on the calendar is what I’m doing to break old routines.
“If you think adventure is dangerous,” warned author Paulo Coelho, “try routine; it is lethal.”
I don’t track it, but did I procrastinate less this year? Did I delegate more fully? Did I let people I care about know that? Did I really practice gratitude thinking?
Our mind loves a path of least resistance – just like a river flowing downstream, we tend to follow well-worn ways of thinking. It’s unconscious, but these patterns lead to the behaviours that shape our every day experience. “We don’t rise to the level of our expectations,” cautioned the stoic Archilochos, “we fall to the level of our training.”
“We don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.” Archilochos Click To TweetWhen I don’t take a few minutes every day to refine my Flight Plan for the week there is a anxiety-creating snowball effect. Deadlines get ignored, my Day Plan is overloaded and I put pressure on my team with last minute requests.
I know what I need to do – but, instead I don’t value my time, don’t plan, and then feel frustrated, rushing to catch up.
For sure, there are lots of reasons to blame, resent, fear and avoid responsibility. It’s part of the human experience to focus on stuff we can’t control.
But, that’s not growth—that’s Ground Hog Day, over and over again.
The reality is – and this is perhaps the #1 lesson we all need to learn – is that we have choice. “Between stimulus and response there is a space.” wrote Viktor Frankl. When we focus on our choices we have the “freedom and power to choose our response.” And then everything changes:
We can (maybe for the first time) be honest with the person we’ve been hiding from.
We can say “No” to jobs that don’t challenge us or make us feel alive – even if they come with a pay cheque.
And we can reach out to someone who needs a hug and has no one else to turn to. It is the “responsibility of our future.” George Bernard Shaw wrote about that can turn our focus from what isn’t happening to what could happen.
So I’m quitting.
I’m quitting wasting time on meaningless tasks that don’t create real value.
I’m quitting wasting time on meaningless tasks that don’t create real value. Click To TweetI’m quitting worrying what people think about me (especially when I mess up).
I’m quitting eating crap food that sucks my energy and leaves me feeling sick and guilty.
I’m quitting procrastinating on work I want to do, but for no good reason leave to the last minute (like this blog post).
I’m quitting holding back the truth they need to hear and I need to let go of.
I will stop saying “As soon as….” and instead only look at today as my field of options.
I will stop undervaluing the successes I create and I will allow myself to celebrate.
Are you with me?
If you’re tired of repeating old patterns over and over again that don’t serve you. And you know you’re playing small and have so much more to share with the world.
Why not declare a new start?
If you are ready to quit all the stupid, petty, small thinking that holds you back.
Click on this link below.
I’m quitting all the stupid, petty, small thinking that holds me back. #quitplayingsmall Click To Tweet
Let’s do this.
Note from me: I rewrote this post more times (I think it was 8 times) more than any other post this year. You see, it’s not that hard for me to crank off a post about organizing your week or building new habits or even what to do on stage to win over an audience—that’s all about sharing what I already know. But writing about my backfires and missteps is new territory. My ego doesn’t want me to sound like a complete loser (good luck with that) and, yet, my ambition is to share what’s important to me – like what I’m struggling with and what I’m learning about living a great life.
My hope is that somehow these posts (and there will be more like this coming up) find their way to people who are willing to look in the mirror once in a while and to do something about what they see there. Hopefully, you’re in for the ride.
John Lester says
December 18, 2017 at 7:31 amThanks for this post Hugh. I appreciated the thoughts about sticking with what creates valuable. I most appreciated your confession of writing this 8 times. I laughed in sympathy, as I do that with so many email messages and presentations. I too fear looking like a complete loser. Thank you for the laugh and the great thoughts for starting my day and looking into the new year.
John Lester says
December 18, 2017 at 7:31 amCreates value. Not “valuable”. See what I mean? 🙂
Hugh Culver says
December 18, 2017 at 10:34 amGot it! Thanks for the clarification John. And we are certainly not losers just because we like to get our message right the first time! I would love to be able to write extemporaneously, like I speak…maybe that’s a goal I can aspire to for the book I’m working on now.
Donna says
December 18, 2017 at 9:03 amHugh, thank you for the very message I needed to hear on this day and it will be a very key guide over the next year as I aspire to the same. This may very well be my fave blog yet…… 8 was just right… Thank you and Merry Christmas!
Hugh Culver says
December 18, 2017 at 10:20 amThanks Donna – that means the world to me. Merry Christmas!
Lauren says
December 18, 2017 at 10:26 amI’M WITH YOU!
Hugh Culver says
December 19, 2017 at 4:56 amRight on!
Harvey says
December 18, 2017 at 4:28 pmThanks Hugh for the wake up call! I find myself procrastinating, getting distracted and making myself small to get along all the time, even though I tell myself not to do so. I also fret, fuss and worry that the message won’t come out just right…and edit to make it acceptable.
Hugh Culver says
December 19, 2017 at 4:56 amHarvey. Procrastination is always going to happen—I wrestle with it everyday. And the best remedy I’ve found is to get really excited about what you are creating, or who you are creating it for. When we have a better ‘why’ the ‘how’ becomes easier.
I discovered that about writing and that led me to look at my speaking/teaching work as well.
When I started speaking about what I cared about and less about what I thought the client wanted I found my excitement again. It’s not a perfect A + B = C, but more often then not I am loving being on stage again and working towards results that I know are meaningful.
Let’s rediscover our ‘why’
Kaley says
December 18, 2017 at 6:10 pmHugh, I love this post, it’s perfect timing for me. Vulnerability is the new strength, and I’m trying so hard to open myself up to that for the coming year as I go forth bravely into my new career as a life coach and musician, laying out my own rocky journey for everyone to see, and putting my heart out there with all my conviction that what I have to share is life-changing for my followers… I am sweating bullets about it but I am done following everyone’s else’s “safe” plan for me in a cubicle. I feel the same way … the world needs what each of us has, and we can’t deprive our followers of that. I really needed this post and I’m so glad you had the courage to write it and rewrite it 8 times! I’m taking big courage from it. Thank you. 🙂
Hugh Culver says
December 19, 2017 at 4:52 amKaley – I hear you! Here’s what I know the world is passing by same-old-same old in search of new and better. When we show up (and I speaking to myself here) in our own skin, as we truly are – that’s when the magic begins. Of course, we need to provide what people want—that’s a given. And we can do it in our own way. I also am convinced we need to create. The more we create the better we become and eventually we become impossible to ignore.
This is not so much the 10,000 hours rule, this is about getting better at our craft AND being seen.
Let me know if you want a chat.
I think this coming year will be a turning point for you. I really do.
Paul says
December 21, 2017 at 12:13 pmWith you on this Hugh, thank you for being vulnerable. Roll on 2018!
Hugh Culver says
December 21, 2017 at 12:39 pmThanks Paul! I’m really trying to write from heart not ego. And I always appreciate your feedback. All the best Paul!
Rob says
December 22, 2017 at 1:45 amI’m with you. I can relate to the overwhelming snowball effect of anxiety that occurs when I get away from my weekly and daily planning. My biggest struggle is staying on top of it all. I love being proactive and when I get off track and slip into reactive mode my anxiety skyrockets. That might be why I’m cleaning out my e-mails at 3:30am. Thanks for putting this out there and not being afraid to share your own struggles with us.
Hugh Culver says
January 3, 2018 at 3:45 pmRob I hear you and I think it’s worth remembering that life didn’t use to be this way. And with our new reality of 24/7 content coming at us we need to have iron cast boundaries to protect our time. I might sound trivial but I have become a big fan of doing all the fun things I want want and to still get to sleep by 10:30 so I can get up at 5:00.
That small change in my evening diet means that I feel more on top of my game, sharper and I don’t resent my work.
Let’s make this the best year ever (on our terms)!