Hero Habits

I’m nervous posting this.

The message is important, but I worry my writing efforts don’t do it justice.

You see, I want you to be rich.

Sounds like get-rich-quick hyperbole, right?

….let me explain.

You see, I want you to feel wealthy, free to make decisions you need to make.

And just to be clear, this isn’t about possessions or cash in your wallet—it’s about changing how you think.

For most of us (myself included) we have a poverty mindset. Oh, of course, we talk about income, wealth, savings and growth.

That’s all great.

But a poverty mindset isn’t obvious—like software, you’re aware it’s there, but have no clue how it affects performance.

When I was a kid, clothes were handed down, we bought old cars (“You know you lose a quarter of it’s value as soon as you drive it off the lot!”) and a restaurant dinner was what we saw other people do.

We weren’t poor, but we certainly weren’t learning about abundance, or what it feels like to be rich.

In a binary sort of way, I used to think being rich was only about bank accounts and how many days you can call “vacation.”

It’s not that simple.

“A person’s relationship with money,” says behavioural economist Sarah Newcomb, Ph.D., “is almost never about the numbers. It is about the stories we tell ourselves because of those numbers.”

To tackle those stories we need to understand there is enough to go around.

Enough to go around

It’s easy to compare ourselves to people who are more successful: taller, richer or with better abs. Get into almost any group and somebody has something or is doing something better than you.

The real harm is when we somehow believe we don’t deserve better, as if what we want is in limited supply. This scarcity thinking can even lead to being “…resistant to taking care of ourselves as fully as we can.” says clinical psychologist Suzanne Lachmann.

So we don’t attempt to save, get in shape, eat better, or invest in education. What’s the point, if you don’t deserve it?

The truth is you deserve it and there’s enough to go around.

There’s enough money, opportunities, business, gigs, deals, contracts and clients. And there’s certainly enough for you.

1. RITUAL: Notice abundance. Walk in nature, appreciate people who have something you want (don’t dismiss or envy them) and treat yourself (like a special cup of coffee, a book you’ve been wanting to read, or an overdue yoga class).

One of the most powerful ways I’ve become “richer” is to work on my habits. Those daily rituals that invisibly serve me or undermine me are there for my picking. The trick is to start with one.

Change one habit

I written lots about the power of habits for increasing productivity, but good habits will also change your outlook. What seemed impossible can be nibbled away with one simple daily ritual.

• Frustrated trying to sleep? Stop snacking, close down screens and then read for 20 minutes. One study found that people reading iPads before sleep took longer to fall asleep, had shorter REM sleep and were more tired the next day, compared to the book readers
• Losing weight seem impossible? Get smaller plates, and only take single servings. One study showed people ate as much as 30% less with smaller plates.
• Think you can’t save money? For one week, record what you spend money on, eliminate one low-return expense, finally, set up a automatic monthly transfer to a savings account.

Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a lot more rewarding. - Harvey Mackay Click To Tweet

After one month of practicing your new habit, you might have done more than in the previous year – that’s progress.

2. RITUAL: Take 2 minutes at the end of the day to appreciate the commitments you made to yourself – the more you do this the easier is becomes to keep the next habit.

Finally, ask for what you want.

Ask for what you want

I’m writing this from Wailea, Maui listening to the calls of the Mynas, sipping Ceylon tea as the morning warms up. In a few minutes we’ll be paddling out into ‘Alalaleili Channel to spend the morning watching Humpbacks breach.

How did this happen?

Simple, I asked for what I wanted (in this case, borrowing a friend’s condo).

When you ask for what you want, resistance gets off the wheel and opportunity moves to the passenger seat.

When you ask for what you want, resistance gets off the wheel and opportunity moves to the passenger… Click To Tweet

And, more often than not, we get what we need.

“You can’t always get what you want,

But if you try sometimes well you just might find,

You get what you need” – Rolling Stones, You can’t always get what you want

In my BOSS (Business Of Speaking) school I teach speakers to ask for the sale. It sounds simple, but I’ve learned the power that comes from asking the most obvious questions.

On more than one occasion, my client hasn’t had the budget to hire me. But, when asked if they want to buy a copy of my book for all 300 delegates (at the time, that was equivalent to paying my fee) they wrote a cheque.

3. RITUAL: the more you ask, the easier it becomes. Go for simple asks, like to go ahead in a line because you’re in a hurry, or have interest fees charges waived from a missed a credit card payment.

If we are going to do good on this planet we need to know we can make a difference. Call it power, abundance, karma or confidence…I want you to be rich.

If you really believe that abundance is available to all,” says Michelle Rose Gilman, founder of Fusion Academy middle schools, “you’ll end up attracting your own abundance.”

More about wealth creation

For more reading on abundance and creating wealth:

In this post “Want to make more money? Solve a bigger problem” I argued for raising your value in the market by solving bigger problems. A great starting point is to run a quick survey of your audience and ask them what they need.

In the post, “Want to make more money? Look in the mirror” I wrote about “turning up” your money margin so you are ready to receive more money. Sounds weird, but once you admit you’re wired to a money-set-point (money margin) it only makes sense you can change it. Here’s the 5-step formula I use:

1. Learn to be uncomfortable
2. Study success.
3. Ask for what you’re worth.
4. Accept money as good.
5. Give money away.

If you want some incentive to turn your back on that chocolate chip carrot muffin, read “How to get rich by spending less money (it’s easier than you think)” – if nothing else, you’ll save $1,000 this year.

And, finally, in one of my most popular posts “How to make money now as an expert” I go deep into how to make money as a speaker, by, well, not speaking!